Definition of Recently:

This is what Websters Dictionary said about my life right now:
“dis·en·gage (dsn-gj) v. dis·en·gaged, dis·en·gag·ing 1. To release something that holds your attention, connects to your heart strings, or entangles your mind. 2. To release (oneself) from an engagement, pledge, relationship, job or other obligation. v.intr. To free or detach oneself; withdraw or go on vacation.. to Portland.”
Thanks, Webster.

Will Worry for Food!? – Gag me – America.

This is too too true! – I got a little bit obsessed with this image. –

Seriously?! Seriously.
The message broadcast to Americans from the platform of the MAD Magazine cover of the October of 2009 issue is ironic and painfully true.
“When you are a child, you need to be fed and taken care of.  Becoming an adult means you are capable of feeding and taking care of others.” -Sharee Romney, Life Coach.

American culture has done a beautiful job of breeding a bunch of “teenagers.” Not fully capable of feeding themselves yet emotionally, mentally , spiritually and physically- let alone, anyone else!
Worry and care are disease. These negative emotions are seeds of cancer- easily spread and terribly difficult to kill. Our media, our culture, our societies, our families, our workplaces are fed fear, worry, distress and apathy.

All too often we worry our way into a hole…This stops any potential for progress.

With American health care and reform all around us -worry -fear -stress -confusion surround us at every media outpost.

THIS WON’T WORK.
Do something. Learn Something. Create Something.
Sounds Deliciously rebellious – ’cause it is.

SAD -but- TRUE

With Love Always,

-SienaMonster

By definition a monster – …a view from my bed

Main Entry: ¹mon·ster

Pronunciation: \ˈmän(t)-stər\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English monstre, from Anglo-French, from Latin monstrum omen, monster, from monēre to warn — more at mind.

Date: 14th century

1 a : an animal or plant of abnormal form or structure b : one who deviates from normal or acceptable behavior or character
2 : a threatening force
3 a : an animal of strange or terrifying shape b : one unusually large for its kind
4 : something monstrous; especially : a person of unnatural or extreme ugliness, deformity, wickedness, or cruelty
5 : one that is highly successful

View of the ceiling above my bed - Love, Passion & Monsterz

So . . . I’m a monster.
and honestly, so are most of the people I really love in my life!

It’s as simple as that.

May you become happy with whatever “monster”-ness you have going for you!

It’s a “monstrosity” to be unique… I’m glad.

Wrist of the day… what was weak is growing strong!

I am learning to absolutely love being “a lone traveler”

lone- (with a heart in it)

I always take these pics at my desk.. they all look kinda the same !

–adjective
1.     being alone; without company or accompaniment; solitary; unaccompanied: a lone traveler.
2.     standing by itself or apart; isolated: a lone house in the valley.
3.     sole; single; only: That company constitutes our lone competitor in the field.
4.     unfrequented.

An extremely wise friend of mine  once told me,
“Motion creates emotion.”
This is absolutely true. There are people in my life who I wish would adopt these words into their lives.  We can’t think, worry, stress or ponder ourselves out of hard things… we just have to MOVE on.  This time for me, it’s been a very lonely process.   This was hard. But I learned that the more I DO.. the more opportunities I take to show my love for the people around me, the BETTER things get!
I used to hate being alone… for 6 years straight I didn’t even give my heart time to, as another friend has said, “Walk on my own.”  Now that I am learning to do this, I am SO GRATEFUL to have this previously weak point become a strong one in my life!  There’s no way I’m going to be who I’m supposed to be in my life if I need a crutch…

Cheers to the lone rangers! – I’m contemplating adopting “no relationships, no exceptions 2010” as my new anthem.
Ha! I guess we’ll see!

…… PS: Are bullet bracelets inappropriate work attire?

Today could not have been more beautiful! – truly.

I had the exciting opportunity to work on a fashion show last Saturday morning…. This was not like any other event I have ever worked on.

The backstage norm.

Normally, the models arrive to a shoot with coffee in hand, in charge, talking about their crazy parties and amazing, lavish “latest.”  Ready for hair and makeup, they don’t hesitate to let me know exactly how they look best and what type of eyeliner does or does not suit them.

On this early Saturday morning I was rushing, trying to find the dressing/makeup/backstage room, nervous and eager to set up.  I gathered extra chairs, waited – set up my makeup – waited and finally greeted the other makeup artists who were coming to assist as well.. I didn’t know what to expect since this time around ALL the models were cancer survivors.
Cancer has affected everyone either directly or indirectly. My own mother has had skin cancer.  The women who I have considered my dearest, most beloved mentors – most of them have all had cancers, of one form or another, and have endured chemotherapy.

As runway show coordinators, makeup and hair artists stood around, chatting and preparing to create their masterpieces I noticed a few women coming in who looked lost, wide-eyed and curious… these were the models.
I assisted in getting these women going with some artists when I saw a young girl, probably not older than 13 or 14 with a shy grin, excited with all the commotion. I walked over to her and asked her if she was modeling in the show. She lit up. We sat down… she didn’t need any help into my (very tall) makeup chair.

Her name is Amanda.
She is 12. We chatted about how lucky she was to come have such a fun day. She said her doctor was really nice to get her this opportunity. I asked her what form of cancer she had and how long ago.  She was 8 when her young body survived the rigors to rid her body of a form of cancer she couldn’t even pronounce.

Amanda - model for the Miche Bag product showing

We talked about what it was like for her to have no eyelashes or hair.  I told her that she has such pretty eyelashes and hair and such a pretty smile that she was perfect either way.  She smiled at my compliments and my heart absolutely melted at her innocent excitement and precious gratitude.

….The last month or so I’ve felt more lonely than I have in my entire life.  Part of it has to do with my new place. Part of it has to do with breaking old habits and waiting for new, healthier ones to grow in the empty places.  Self-consumed, I’ve wondered how I’ll get rid of these knots in my stomach and feel happier once I find the thing to fill the void.
–    I found it    –
Never in my whole life have I been pulled out of a selfish, self-absorbed, depressive state of mind at such whiplash velocities.  I spent the rest of the day reeling a bit, allowing my mind to catch up to my emotions.
I remembered why I had originally wanted to do what I do.
When I was 12 I met miss Utah.  I thought she was the closest thing to a princess that could exist.  See, I didn’t believe in Princesses when I was young… She called me pretty and smart. I treasured that moment. I want every self conscious, young, vulnerable, girl to have an experience like I had. . .  just to catch a glimpse of how great they are in someone elses eyes!
“I am capable” were the only words I could think of.  I was capable of acting as a mirror to show these girls and women how truly phenomenal they are. I am capable of loving someone else, caring about their stories, loving a person I don’t even know yet.
We all are.
I was left with the assurance that I have nothing to complain about. I have limbs, intact senses, lingering concussion symptoms and a big heart. Much more has been done with less…

…exactly what I needed.

I have many stories about the impact this young girl and the other women I worked with that morning and all they taught me. I just needed to share at least one of them.

New Miche Bag. Launched to raise money for the Huntsman Cancer Institute

Miche Bag:

This company has teamed up with the Huntsman Cancer Institute and committed to raise 1 Million dollars in 2010 by distributing their new handbag.   The bag features quoted text from women cancer survivors. Many of these women were actually IN the fashion show as well.

“Today is a blunt reminder that I want to always have gratitude dripping from my lips… No prettier shade of lipstick exists.” -SWAN